Who doesn't love cookies?
...According to our extremely reliable sources... apparently very few people. It is interesting to note that some folks today do not *just* "love" cookies... they could easily be classified as being clinically obsessed with them. The particular class of creatures who are profoundly passionate for these tasty treats are oftentimes categorized as "cookie monsters".
One might wonder just how many of these so-called "cookie monsters" are in existence today. For your information, the latest check of the census data for the United States showed a population of 320,540,380 persons. That same population clock showed that at that moment there were a mere 7,231,471,998 people living in this world at the time. Now the best scientific guesstimate of this data available at this time means that there are close to 320 million people living in the United States ...and upwards of 7.1 billion people in the world that have this clinical obsession as observed by highly-skilled professionals though some of these creatures have already diagnosed themselves with having this particular condition. So, if you are not one of these self-confessed beasts and you are uncertain whether you have even met one yet ...you might be wondering where you might one find one of these cookie monsters. Truth be known... Monsters lurk everywhere! ...You might even have one in your immediate family ...or prowling about your kitchen or pantry right now. Heck... you could even have one hiding under the bed at this very moment.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
...According to our extremely reliable sources... apparently very few people. It is interesting to note that some folks today do not *just* "love" cookies... they could easily be classified as being clinically obsessed with them. The particular class of creatures who are profoundly passionate for these tasty treats are oftentimes categorized as "cookie monsters".
One might wonder just how many of these so-called "cookie monsters" are in existence today. For your information, the latest check of the census data for the United States showed a population of 320,540,380 persons. That same population clock showed that at that moment there were a mere 7,231,471,998 people living in this world at the time. Now the best scientific guesstimate of this data available at this time means that there are close to 320 million people living in the United States ...and upwards of 7.1 billion people in the world that have this clinical obsession as observed by highly-skilled professionals though some of these creatures have already diagnosed themselves with having this particular condition. So, if you are not one of these self-confessed beasts and you are uncertain whether you have even met one yet ...you might be wondering where you might one find one of these cookie monsters. Truth be known... Monsters lurk everywhere! ...You might even have one in your immediate family ...or prowling about your kitchen or pantry right now. Heck... you could even have one hiding under the bed at this very moment.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Some might wonder what it takes for one to be considered a "bona fide" "cookie monster ...or even if you yourself just might be deemed as one. Please take the following short quiz to determine if you might have the CM (cookie monster) gene roaming around in your own DNA.
So... ask yourself (...and answer truthfully)...
1. Would you rather...
A) Shovel your sidewalks and driveway in the bitter cold after a significant snowfall? ...or
B) Savor a delicious cookie fresh from the oven??
2. Would you rather...
A) Run a marathon in the middle of winter while wearing shorts ? ...or
B) Sink your teeth into a cookie that was just awarded a blue ribbon at the State Fair?
3. Would you rather...
A) Write a 20 page term paper for an English Literature class the night before it is due? ...or
B) Dig into a specially-prepared cookie the moment you finally break a long fast (e.g. Lent) ...during which you had abstained from all desserts?
4. Would you rather...
A) Rake a ton of huge, wet leaves from a large wooded lot? ...or
B) Enjoy your favorite cookie with a tall glass of cold milk, mug of hot chocolate or an exquisite cup of steaming coffee?
5. Would you rather...
A) Collect enough fresh fertilizer from a local chicken farm for your half-acre garden and then painfully pluck out any and all of the remaining feathers? ...or
B) Relish the perfect cookie concoction?
6. Would you rather...
A) Prepare your annual tax return on the evening of April 15th knowing that you will definitely owe significant monies this year? ...or
B) Gobble-up a couple of the tasty treats from the nearest cookie jar?
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
If you answered "B" for two or more of these questions... you just *might* be a cookie monster.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
If you took a moment right now and *googled* the words "cookie recipes" you will find that there are about 39,100,000 references to that (yes that is 39.1 million references) ...give or take a few. This data clearly indicates that there is a real hunger in this world for these tasty little treats ...or at least an strong indication that tens of millions of humans desire to satisfy their favorite cookie monster's cravings... even if that favorite cookie monster is growling within themselves.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
It seems that cookie jars no longer take a prominent place within our kitchens. After careful analysis, this phenomenon of the decreasing number of cookie jars can now finally be explained. It turns out that worldwide cookie consumption is not decreasing ...in fact, just the opposite is true. Hidden cameras in test kitchens in each continent have revealed that cookie monsters across the globe are no longer allowing "their" cookies to be around long enough to be stored in one of these jars, canisters or containers. Again, be advised that cookie monsters are lurking everywhere! Millions of hungry, impatient beasts no longer want to wait for cookies to be baked so they resort to feeding their habit by visiting a local bakery or simply going the route of purchasing store-bought packages of cookies. This packaging is cleverly marketed so that one is tempted to consume the treats right from the box or package. Cookies these days rarely remain around long enough in the packaging to even justify the task of putting them in cookie jars. See the photo of well-used cookie jar (below). The particular cookie jar shown in this photo was selected specifically for this cookie monster's home because ...well... with the camel's hump.... *more* cookies can be stored... even if for only a brief moment.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
If you took a moment right now and *googled* the words "cookie recipes" you will find that there are about 39,100,000 references to that (yes that is 39.1 million references) ...give or take a few. This data clearly indicates that there is a real hunger in this world for these tasty little treats ...or at least an strong indication that tens of millions of humans desire to satisfy their favorite cookie monster's cravings... even if that favorite cookie monster is growling within themselves.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
It seems that cookie jars no longer take a prominent place within our kitchens. After careful analysis, this phenomenon of the decreasing number of cookie jars can now finally be explained. It turns out that worldwide cookie consumption is not decreasing ...in fact, just the opposite is true. Hidden cameras in test kitchens in each continent have revealed that cookie monsters across the globe are no longer allowing "their" cookies to be around long enough to be stored in one of these jars, canisters or containers. Again, be advised that cookie monsters are lurking everywhere! Millions of hungry, impatient beasts no longer want to wait for cookies to be baked so they resort to feeding their habit by visiting a local bakery or simply going the route of purchasing store-bought packages of cookies. This packaging is cleverly marketed so that one is tempted to consume the treats right from the box or package. Cookies these days rarely remain around long enough in the packaging to even justify the task of putting them in cookie jars. See the photo of well-used cookie jar (below). The particular cookie jar shown in this photo was selected specifically for this cookie monster's home because ...well... with the camel's hump.... *more* cookies can be stored... even if for only a brief moment.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Some people like their cookies hot ...others like them cold. A lot of afficianados want them soft ...and others want them crunchy. Some want them chewy ...while others want them crispy. There are individuals who want their cookies with icing ...and others want them plain. Some folks insist on only eating cookies "made from scratch" ...while others would be satisfied with store-bought cookie mixtures, ready to be baked. There is that growing group of non-picky creatures who are more than satisfied to simply buy and consume cookies from a bakery or a store. Finally, there is a group of cookie connoisseurs who *completely* rely upon friends and family members to provide their required supply of cookies (...either voluntarily or otherwise). Any one individual within any of these groups could be categorized as "bona fide" cookie monsters.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Now that we have a better understanding of the psychological makeup of these creatures categorized as cookie monsters ...we now need to know how these creatures can be physically identified. You should realize that long before Jim Henson gave a face to *The* Cookie Monster in the late 60's for the popular television program Sesame Street... there were already millions... if not billions... of folks around the world who could have been legitimately classified as cookie monsters. Obviously, not all those in this category have a blue fur coat like our loveable creature who endlessly sings,
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Now that we have a better understanding of the psychological makeup of these creatures categorized as cookie monsters ...we now need to know how these creatures can be physically identified. You should realize that long before Jim Henson gave a face to *The* Cookie Monster in the late 60's for the popular television program Sesame Street... there were already millions... if not billions... of folks around the world who could have been legitimately classified as cookie monsters. Obviously, not all those in this category have a blue fur coat like our loveable creature who endlessly sings,
♫♪"C is for Cookie... that's good enough for me"♪♫
...nevertheless they *are* indeed cookie monsters. Yes, cookie monsters are lurking everywhere! "...Omm nom nom nom...!"
Cookie monsters can appear in various physical forms. Some might be young ...while others might be old. Some might be boys ...while others might be girls. Some might be single ...while others might be married. Some might be dear, sweet moms or others may be cute little kids ...but the most endearing of the species just might be those cookie monsters who also serve as dads. For some reason, lots of dads in this world feel the beast stirring within them more strongly than those creatures in any other group within the species. It also seems that most dads enjoy playing the part of *The* Cookie Monster ...especially if it means that he will get his just share of the cookies.
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Here's a little verse composed for my own children and godchildren many years ago. Those cookie-monsters-in-training were delighted when they heard this little rhyme ...especially whenever it was dramatized with a gravely voice by their favorite cookie monster ...who other times would wear his "Dad" or "Godfather" persona thus concealing for a while the fact that he truly is a certifiable cookie monster. Someday this little short little poem might even be put to song ...maybe someday when the dad's mouth is not filled with cookies....
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Here's a little verse composed for my own children and godchildren many years ago. Those cookie-monsters-in-training were delighted when they heard this little rhyme ...especially whenever it was dramatized with a gravely voice by their favorite cookie monster ...who other times would wear his "Dad" or "Godfather" persona thus concealing for a while the fact that he truly is a certifiable cookie monster. Someday this little short little poem might even be put to song ...maybe someday when the dad's mouth is not filled with cookies....
(To be recited... with feelings).
Feeling Blue
Me like cookies...
Me like them whole bunch!
Me like them for breakfast
...and even for lunch!
Me like them for supper
...and for snack-time too!
But Me like them most of all...
when Me feeling
...Blue!
(c) MDJones-All Rights Reserved
"...Omm nom nom nom!"
Don't you just wonder how often our little friend with blue-colored fur "feels blue"?
JUST REMEMBER...
"...Omm nom nom nom!" "...Ahhhh!"
